Honestly

In my head, I post what I'd really like to say on Facebook. Things like, "I always courtesy flush. You're welcome." Or "Had a great poop today." Not all are about bowel movements. Sometimes I think of things I want to say about Illyria, but am afraid I'll attract perverts or Child Services. Like "I love my naked baby in the tub!" and "I tap Illyria's tush and say, "Ta-ta-ta tushy, goodbye! Ta-ta-ta-tushy, don't cry." (I really do sing that.) Or things Mark said. I could post them before he got his own account. Now things like "Mark just told me he's learned more Spanish watching Handy Manny than his years in high school" just don't get posted because of the bruised ego and dirty looks that will definitely follow. I mean, that would definitely have won me some likes!

So I have to censor myself on Facebook. I've also learned not to friend certain people in Facebook. Exes. Bosses. I mean, if I want to take a quiz like "Which Hogwarts house do you belong in?" during work, I think it's best of my boss doesn't know. Which, by the way, the answer is Griffindor. I wouldn't have taken any other.

Facebook has become an obsession. I have to see if someone commented or liked my status. If I put that much effort into say, my job, maybe I wouldn't have time for things like Hogwarts quizzes. Alas, alack, I remain addicted to reading people's updates and hope they enjoy mine, too. It's like I'm still the 7th grader with glasses and acne hoping the girl behind me will stop coloring my hair with a marker (washable, thank God) and actually show me some respect.

So, here's my attempt to get some likes and maybe a few comments. And I'll save the real posts for here.